""

   This afternoon, I stepped onto the patio into the dry, summer sun. My first outing of the entire day. Against the forest green vines I noticed my soul animal, a little, white butterfly. I always notice them. I don't know why I relate. Maybe I want to be like them: Small, light, happy. Quiet, humble. Free.
   I watched the humble, little bug freely flap her wings through the sunbeams,  contentedly. Out for an afternoon summer stroll. Upon looking closer, however, I noticed that one of the butterfly's wings had seemingly been torn off, leaving little behind than enough to keep her afloat. How was she flying with such a deformity? What laws of physics was she defying in order to dance through the air?
   Before I had noticed her mangled wing, the way she flew really did seem like a dance. When I eventually saw it, the dance turned into a limp, but nothing had shifted in her movement except my perspective. Why couldn't she still be as free as before I noticed her scars? They had always been there, and I admired her effortlessness.
   Is the glass half full, or no? The wounds from her past made her more beautiful and dance more freely than she ever could have before them.
"I would rather break my own heart
(and tumble apart)
Than stay intact only to keep alive"

"Mercury in Retrograde"

walking into a silent war zone
I can see your heart beating from the outside
in your neck
in your stomach

the rain isn't used to falling here
and it's seeping under doorways
sea levels rising
so we can tread
or we can swim
or we can sink

"Close your eyes"

close your eyes
your green eyes
when the green smoke detector light
is your northern star
close your eyes
and fly away
limbs akimbo
from this place
being face to face brings ambivalence

you're like sweet poison
there's always something worth
flipping guts
bringing new nightmares
flowing through untainted blood
a paralyzingly sweet bed
and saccharine skin

expect too much
don't get overzealous
choose your actions carefully

"Acid Rain" (2/9/10)

Eating cereal out the bag
Down an uncleared sidewalk
Her midwestern winter dragging
Skin through snowy cocaine
That cereal won't fill you up
So don't leave yourself to ruin
More than you thought you could

She needs a sunset
A clear sky of orange marmalade
And salt air
Because rock bottom, isn't yet
Her life ended
Where the sea fell off the earth
Her soul hollowed
When the gulf ran dry

And from her heart poured
Ocean tears
Trying to explain herself

All that's here
Is acid rain

"Strength" (12/10/09)

I always found it hard
To sleep in someone's arms
Until yours came along
But since then
I don't want to look at you
With tear-stained cheeks
And blood-stained hands
All to feel you tear us down again
And again
And again
So like morning condensation
The windshield drops are moving up
In reverse
Do that to me
It's shocking the way my heart is beating
But I promise there was a time when I was happy
And you were there
So don't upset yourself
I'll be ill but alright
I'll write

"The Cleanest Cut" (11/17/09)

Break me in two
Between home and you
The cleanest cut
And you helped me see through
All of them up until now
We'll be standing hand in hand
In a gallery of faces
Waltz through as they stare at us
And we're just looking at each other
We're looking into one another
Break me down
Down to the minerals I'm made of
Pass me through a needle
And blow me away
Maybe then the separation won't ache
Because I find myself
Clinging to you
And pulling at your clothes
From behind closed doors

11/17/09

you and you
blaze and booze
all night long
so alike
under a fickle, starry light
so I can't help thinking
I'm left for dead
and I'm fading
you can see the darkening care
under my eyes
every morning
don't you know I need you
I'll take care of you both
under dull, yellow light
if the power goes out
and it's all we can find
even if you let me down